You know what makes a real difference between grade school children and adults over the age of forty? We could go down an entire list of physiological and intellectual and stature differences, but there is one you may not have considered, because it’s in your head. Ask most kids in primary school how old they are and you’ll get a fair bit of “I’m going to be ## in whatever month their next birthdays are. Ask someone over forty a similar question as a group of Danish researchers did of 1,470 study subjects and it flips pretty dramatically the other direction. On average, these researchers got answers that were 20 percent younger that the subjects’ actual ages.
Across all of these study subjects the age deflation was a fairly consistent 20 percent difference which led the researchers, and probably you as well, to ask, “Why a consistent twenty percent?” What age do you think yourself to be in your head?
I attended a seminar a number of years ago, and one of the lectures was from a recently-retired university professor who introduced his session with a simple rule: “You have to get older, but you don’t have to act your age.” He promptly plopped a beanie on his head and proceeded to elaborate. I spoke with him on our break and asked him what motivated him to retire from his tenured position and his university and take his subject matter to other venues. I did not then know to ask him how old he thought himself to be, but his story suggests that he wanted to put a brake on aging. His best friend on the faculty had died in the past year which gave him pause to take stock and reroute his life. Or, did he refuse to get to be “that age” but changing lanes to a track that felt more vital, younger? This is not an uncommon story line for “aging adults,” although the details of each person’s story will be different from the others.
Some of this phenomenon may also be that our society tends to discount what an older adult can bring to the table. Ask anyone who still wishes to stay on their career path into their sixties or seventies…until they report to that new 35 year old manager. Our society and most western societies tend to attach less value to older workers’ wisdoms. Yet, Asian cultures celebrate age for its place within a hierarchy where chronological age is correlated with prestige. Their brain age to chronological age gap is also smaller and smaller yet is the gap between how old an individual is and how old they feel in their minds in Africa. These latter also tend to be a bit more culturally homogeneous and socioeconomically more homogenous as well.
All of this does underscore that age divide, but it should not stop you from enjoying the gathering for your next school reunion or the music they play that “takes you back” to your youth. At the end of the day we are all an accumulation of countless experiences across our years, and you should feel to travel back to whenever you want. To answer the title’s question, what’s in your head may be worth revisiting whenever you choose. Enjoy your trip!
Charlotte Bishop is an Aging Life Care Advisor, Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, LLC, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.
