Chicago's Geriatric Care Manager Center of Excellence – Since 1991 • Geriatric Care ManagerChicago's Geriatric Care Manager Center of Excellence

I Miss the Scams That Used to Be Easier to Spot
It was probably ten years ago that my husband’s mother was caught up in a telephone scam on her...
Read more
September 26, 2023
0
0
Medicare’s Surprising Cost Savings
Medicare has been one of those political footballs where both sides of the aisle have had an entrenched position...
Read more
September 5, 2023
0
0
The High Cost of Wellness
Once in a while “yesterday’s news” is also tomorrow’s news. Earlier this year you probably heard or read that...
Read more
August 15, 2023
0
0
How Old You Really Are
One of my staff worked with a senior community in upstate New York near Elmira a number of years...
Read more
August 8, 2023
0
0
Three Words Are the Cure
Some have called it an epidemic. And it’s particularly virulent within the senior population. The epidemic leads to even...
Read more
July 16, 2023
0
0
Not Just Dark Chocolate…
If you’re like me, you may have had moments when you’ve looked at the latest clinical information on the...
Read more
July 10, 2023
0
0
Update on Dementia – part 2
I had left you last week with what may have seemed to be an optimistic note regarding the latest...
Read more
June 26, 2023
0
0
Follow Your Gut…You’ve Got No Choice
It was back in the sixties and seventies that so many folks embraced the mantra: “You are what you...
Read more
April 11, 2023
0
0
Spring Tips for the Holiday Caregiver
We all know that that Spring in the Midwest isn’t on a straight line from Winter toward Summer, but...
Read more
March 28, 2023
0
0
How (NOT) to Worry, Stress or Be Anxious
It’s not so much whether you’ll have worries, be stressed or feel anxious…it’s how you’ll manage your worries, your...
Read more
March 21, 2023
0
0

In the Caregiver's Words

Recent Client Praise

Caregivers tend to be very dedicated to caring for others, typically an older parent or disabled member of the family, but they often do not do so well in caring for themselves. It is not that caregivers do not need at least a bit of help themselves, but it can be a very conflicted issue for a caregiver to ask for help. It may stir up guilt about not caring for mom or dad or inadequacy at not being able to do it all. And it is not that caregivers are alone. They have other siblings, they have friends or neighbors, and they also have respite care available to help. Respite care is not just one type of service, it is a whole continuum of in home care services as well as out-of-home services available in most communities. For at home care, respite care can provide a needed break for the caregiver who needs to also work a day job, run their own personal or household errands or simply have some time to recharge. Family, friends or other volunteers can be crucial in giving this time to the caregiver as well as providing stimulation, conversation or some fresh energy to care for the receiver of care. Personal care or skilled care providers also can assist with the "heavy lifting" like activities of daily living (ADLs) such as bathing, dressing, toileting and more. Area residential care facilities can provide an even wider range of support where caregivers can drop mom or dad for short breaks, overnight care, or short intervals to cover vacation time. For more comprehensive needs of those who need help with ADLs, there are facilities in most communities for adult day care that may be a full 9 to 5 or 7 to 7 to help with caregivers who also have work responsibilities. If you are looking to recruit an individual who will be coming to assist in senior care for mom or dad in the home, be sure to ask for references. Also be clear about services you expect, make certain of compensation (and no prepayments), and even consider a background check so that everyone has peace of mind. If you are going though an agency, go through the same process as well as ask about bonding and other assurances you and your loved one will be secure. If you will be looking to a facility with its own personnel, you should ask about:
And you may ask to spend an afternoon or a day at the facility to observe how well they deliver on their promises. Don't be afraid to ask questions of caregivers in order to really assess if the people in place are engaged in the service they provide. People who like what they do will do a better job than those who just have a job. Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Case Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to ccbishop@creativecasemanagement.com. Read more about Our Story and Charlotte's mission.
Pick your metaphor. If you want your knife to slice easier, you sharpen it. If you want to improve your time in a race, your train harder. If you want to improve your golf drive, you practice. What all three of these have in common is that if you invest a bit of time in a thing, you will have a better outcome. If you go to the Chicago Children’s Museum website they offer a clear mantra, not just for kids, but for all of us: “When we play, we learn. We create. We strengthen and grow. Chicago Children’s Museum’s mission is to improve children’s lives by creating a community where play and learning connect.” The museum may not be open during this pandemic, but the mission still applies. Research published in the New England Journal of Medicine has demonstrated a clear link between physical and mental activities and reducing the risk of dementias. And other scientists have replicated these findings that playing – both physically and mentally – is a great way to stay mentally sharp. I recommend any or all of the four V’s as ways to defend against dementia:
- Visualization – the classics here are chess and checkers, but there are countless card games that can qualify as well. Linking what you see in your hand or on the board with planning for your next move keeps your brain sharp.
- Verbalization - yes, it is about conversation, but up your game by being creative. When my kids were very young, we would ask at dinner about what they had learned at school or the best thing that happened…story telling.
- Virtualization – board games have come a long way since checkers and chess. They often offer challenges to find or accumulate or decipher something. They even have a new one in the current age called Pandemic: check it out.
- Visitation – even with the rollout of vaccines, we may be slow to get back to “normal,” but computers and cell phones give us visual and audio contact with the world. Check into what others are doing, and share your stories too.
And you can tie some of these together. We have played some games with our adult children on Zoom, and yes, they are still amazed that we can beat them on occasion. I have an associate who is committed to putting stories to the photos in his album, and he has some really great stories to share. The brain also benefits from a good workout. We may not be able to go to gyms without putting ourselves at risk, but walking, running, even workouts with zoom masters can be not just a tension reliever, but also a brain enhancer. Charlotte Bishop is a Caregiver Coach, an Aging Life Care Advisor, a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.
…When She’s Gone.” Or how about, “You are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine?” or “Here Comes the Sun?” or “Good Day Sunshine?” or “Sunshine on my Shoulder?” The sun has meant enough to Bill Withers, Christina Perri, The Beatles, John Denver and others to become an element of their music…upbeat when there is sunshine and downbeat when the sunshine goes away. And it’s the right time to talk about the mental toll that lack of sunshine will take on many of us as we slog through the shortest month of the year and crawl away from the shortest day of the year, December 21. Some people may scoff at what has come to be called Seasonal Affective Disorder, but it’s no different really from clinical depression except that we can almost predict the onset for some people based on the length of a day or how overcast the skies may be. Yet, not everyone sees it in themselves, despite the fact that it can be addressed as easily as turning on a full spectrum lamp. Seasonal Affective Disorder, depression, is not always easy to diagnose in order to move toward a better place with an effective intervention. What are the warning signs?
1. It’s Hard to Concentrate – You or a loved one may find it’s harder to accomplish what are normally easy tasks or it’s hard to give something the focus needed in order to bring it to closure.
2. Socializing is Less Attractive – You or a loved one may make excuses that it is too cold to head out to mix with your friends. Or it’s just easier to continue to say you’ll “take a pass” and stay at home to almost unconsciously binge on cable.
3. Eating Becomes Emotional – As with screen time, you or a loved one may begin binge-eating or have cravings for a certain food or just plain lose interest in food altogether.
4. Avoiding Intimacy Becomes the Go-To – It’s really just another form of isolation when you or a loved one begin to avoid touch, or you don’t initiate intimacy or as with food, you just avoid going out with anyone.
5. Phone Time is More than the Phone – If you or a loved one are somewhat surprised more than once a day by how low a cell phone battery has drained, or are that pedestrian in the crosswalk who isn’t paying attention to whether the cars have stopped while strolling into the intersection.
Some of this is a straightforward fix … if you consider addressing clinical depression straightforward. Talk therapy can help as can a shakeup of the regular fitness routine to get in your 10,000 steps a day or a daily trip to the gym or whatever it takes to jump start your endorphin flow. And there is always the SAD lamp as a complement to these other remedies. Make sure you do your homework on the spectrum of light necessary for a lamp to be effective. And take heart. The Vernal Equinox is just a short month away. Think Spring! Charlotte Bishop is an Aging Life Care Advisor, Geriatric Care Manager and founder of, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.
Associate Care Manager Gregory Peebles returns with a series on the Internet and aging. Gregory is both a Certified Senior Advisor (CSA) and Certified Dementia Practitioner (CDP) whose work focuses on helping aging adults and folks with limited independence by providing resources and support to help them discover and lead their best lives. Gregory has been a part of CCM, Inc. for over a decade. – Charlotte Since one of the primary uses of the Internet is to find things, it was inevitable that we would turn to it when looking for love. The “market” responded, and these days it seems thereare as many web sites and apps as there are people looking to date. Older adults, not wanting to be left out of any opportunities, now have match-making services that cater exclusively their cohort’s desire to connect, or to reconnect after loss. What advice can we give to aging adults and those who support them in living their fullest lives?
1. Be ready. Trying to start a relationship at any stage in life is complicated. It’s especially tough to get “back in the swing” after profound loss. Even caregivers and family should leave space for lots of complex feelings, staying ready for extra conversation. If you or your loved one is experiencing more difficulty than is comfortable, talk therapy can be of great assistance working through grief or even into “learned loneliness.”
2. Get creative. A good profile shows personality and flair, while also being honest and accessible. Anyone looking to create an online persona should ask friends to take new, current pictures, brainstorming with confidantes about what makes the relationship-seeker unique. We know only the subjective portion of ourselves. Outside perspective can really help us understand what others experience when they encounter us.
3. Avoid clichés. Lots of people like “long walks on the beach,” but if someone has a special knowledge of tides, or shells, that’s a point of connection or interest. Potential dates know then that the walk won’t be just aerobic awkward silence.
4. Stay safe. Online dating isn’t dangerous, but successful users of the service know that precautions are necessary. They start by having conversations on a mobile device, as landlines can be traced to an address. When it’s time to meet, they make sure to do so in a very public space - best for coffee or lunch - transitioning to more privacy or less daylight only once trust has been established.
5. Stay safe, the sequel. If the relationship becomes physical, intimacy should be safe. (Please note that if you are the adult child to an older loved one that intimacy can span everything from holding hands, so be sensitive, and don’t assume.) That said, the numbers regarding disease transmission among older adults continue to rise at alarming rates. Yet, intimacy is natural, and everyone has a right to enjoy it. You thought “that talk” was awkward when you were an adolescent child to your parent! Appreciate that everyone also has a right to stay healthy through conversation and proper precaution.
6. Remain positive. It would be great to meet Mr/Ms Right immediately, but the old saying about kissing frogs remains true at any stage of life. It’s also true that a positive connection of any kind—even if not potentially romantic—is preferable to self-isolation. Meeting folks with open-ended mindset is a healthy way to begin any relationship any
Charlotte Bishop is a best-selling author , Aging Life Care Advisor, Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago.
According to the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) adverse drug reactions or overmedication result in more than 700,000 hospitalizations a year. And many of these could be avoided by following advice offered by the American Geriatrics Society. The AGS’s Foundation for Health in Aging offers advice for all of us who care for older parents or adults in our orbits. Here is a summary of the six major recommendations.
1. Ask before taking OTC drugs: Never assume that just because you can buy a medication in a drug store without a prescription that it will be harmless. Most of these drugs started out as prescription meds. Ask the doctor or pharmacist if an OTC drug is a risk by itself or in combination with a prescription your elder may already be taking.
2. Make/update your List: A lot of medical offices are very good about asking patients on every visit what medications they are taking and keeping it in their records. With every visit the provider needs to add new medications so that everyone is aware of what your elder is taking.
3. Question your provider: When you or your elder receive a new prescription ask questions about when to take the drug, with or without food, what to do if a dose is missed, is it available in generic form and what are the common side effects?
4. Read the labels and follow them: There is a fine print insert of patient instructions that comes with every prescription. Don’t be intimidated by the scientific jargon; look for the indications and usage section as well as the adverse events sections. And then take them as directed – don’t add a dose for better effect or stop just because you feel better.
5. Report any ill effects: There is a saying in geriatric circles that every symptom in an older adult should be considered a side effect of a drug until proven otherwise. Especially if there is sudden difficulty breathing or swallowing, light-headedness or irregular heart beat. If you cannot reach your loved one’s provider call 911.
6. Review your medications with your provider: At least once a year you should talk with your elder’s provider about the medications, the doses and any changes you may have noticed. And do not leave out vitamins, supplements or herbals.
For more information go to the American Geriatrics Society web site as well as refer to a list of drugs that have known side effects or other issues. This is called the Beers List .

Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Case Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to Charlotte Bishop
It was the extended family that took care of the children as well as mom and dad as they aged during much of the last century. Today life is both different and complicated. The family has changed in numerous ways to challenge the old models of caregiving. Everyone lives anywhere but “here,” the rates of divorce approach 50%; intimacy lasts well into older loved ones lives and non-traditional families have earned their rights. Consider:
1. Who takes care of mom or dad when they are divorced. Appreciate that when one of your parents cannot be there for the other once they are divorced. That may mean that your role as a son or daughter caregiver may come into play earlier than otherwise would be the case. Be alert to home safety issues as well as how well mom or dad ambulate, how fresh the food in the fridge is and either attend doctors’ visits with them or engage the services of a care manager to help with any of these.
2. Will residential care options be welcoming for gay families. New options to accommodate all lifestyles are becoming available every day, but be aware of old biases that can persist. If the care you need does not accommodate the individuals you are or your gay parents are, then take your business elsewhere. Consider the places that have been welcoming for your younger needs will have connections to similarly welcoming places for aging needs. Many cities have devoted directories of such vetted services. In Chicago, it’s the Pink Pages for the LGBT community.
3. How do we address intimacy among older adults as they age? Remember the “awkward conversation” you may have had with mom or dad as you were coming of age? Well, now it’s your turn to be the intimacy advocate for your older loved one. You may have to ask the tough questions of their caregivers or the facilities to which they move once they leave their homes. Today’s 80 may be yesterday’s 60 in more ways than you had considered, so be prepared.
4. Distance caregiving is the stress of anyone with older parents and a family, or job, or a life of their own. Based on our experience, distance caregivers need to focus on the things that can be done at distance. Arrange for what can be delivered by a third party, like meals; help by becoming a signer on mom or dad’s account to help pay bills and balance the check book; or find a local care manager who can be your eyes and ears when you can’t be around. And keep in touch with neighbors and friends.
I will be coming back to these themes in future postings, but I also strongly encourage you to attend a caregivers’ forum addressing these issues this Thursday, November 19 at St. Matthew’s in Evanston, Illinois. It will be an ecumenical program in the main Parlor at 7 p.m. CST. Enlarge the map on this page or go to: http://stmatthewsevanston.org/. Two of CCM’s staff will be co-hosting the event. Bring your questions…and contact us if you need help with respite care because you are caring for an older loved one and need that help to get to the event! Charlotte Bishop is an Aging Life Care Professional and a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to info@creativecaremanagement.com.