Chicago's Geriatric Care Manager Center of Excellence – Since 1991 • Alzheimer’s diseaseChicago's Geriatric Care Manager Center of Excellence

The Fear is Mutual: What Caregivers to Alzheimer’s Patients Need to Know
I’ve talked about this often in past posts: older adults have a greater fear of Alzheimer’s than of any...
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January 25, 2022
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Not Where You’d Expect Protection from Dementia
You may recall the debate on approving Biogen’s Aduhelm for Alzheimer’s this past year. Prior to this approval there...
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December 28, 2021
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Get Smart!
Would you look for advice from an investment counselor who simply promised a lower rate of loss on your...
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August 24, 2021
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Breaking News for Alzheimer’s … part 1
The big splash on the medical news this past week gratifyingly was not COVID-19, but instead an approval of...
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June 15, 2021
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To B or Not to B12?
I have written a lot about dementia over the years as well as other issues that can mimic the...
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May 11, 2021
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Diseases that Mimic Dementia…But Are Treatable-part 3
As you can tell from now a third installment about other medical conditions that can mimic dementia, it’s not...
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March 22, 2021
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Diseases that Mimic Dementia…But Are Treatable – part 1
Dementia is the condition that adult Americans fear the most, and tragically there are conditions that can give a...
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March 9, 2021
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A Game Where Everyone Wins
Pick your metaphor. If you want your knife to slice easier, you sharpen it. If you want to improve...
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March 2, 2021
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Would You Want to Know?
Americans fear Alzheimer’s disease more than any other condition including cancer, heart disease, stroke or any other life-threatening diseases...
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February 23, 2021
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What Tony Bennett Can Teach Us
Tony Bennet has arguably been one of those “one in a million” kind of musical talents, but sadly he...
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February 9, 2021
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In the Caregiver's Words

Recent Client Praise

Did you have a great Thanksgiving Holiday or do you find yourself totally exhausted from all the preparations and clean-up and dreading (at least) four more weeks of the same? If you can see something of your experience in that description then you may be a caregiver who has not followed my "prime directive" for caregivers: You will always take better care of others if you are taking care of the caregiver first! I have said it somewhat differently on numerous occasions, but those charged with taking care of an older loved one along with everyone else in their orbit also need to care for themselves. Don't burn the proverbial candle at both ends.

So you agree in concept. It seems easy to say, but how does a caregiver start taking better care of her or himself? Here are three simple guides that you may find helpful in getting through the rest of the holidays. I think you actually will find that you better enjoy the opportunities for family and friends when you are in better shape yourself.

1.    Delegate! Recognize that when ten people (or more) gather at your house to dine for the holidays that there will be a lot of food to prepare. Don't go it alone. Request the two vegetable dishes from two of the guests, the rolls from another and the dessert from someone else. You may reserve the special dish that only you do for yourself, but share the opportunity to prepare the feast. And keep sharing after the meal. Those who cannot cook will clean! If you find yourself alone in the kitchen with a sink full of dishes after dinner, you did not delegate.

2.    Designate! Set up a schedule with "rest stops" for your days leading up to and including the day of the event. Set aside time for yourself just as you would set aside a break from a long drive in order to get out of the car and stretch your legs. Get out of the house for a nice walk in the crisp air or sneak away to your room with a magazine or book.

3.    Disengage! Don't compare yourself to anyone else. It is easy to set the bar way too high by thinking that "if mom or dad could do all of the work," then so should you. And that goes for recipes also. Be prepared to enjoy the meal in which everyone has a hand in preparing. In fact, it may even taste a bit better if you did not prepare all of the meal. (Refer to rule #1 above.)

      Enjoy the rest of our holiday season, and remember to take care of the caregiver.

      Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Case Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to ccbishop@creativecasemanagement.com.
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1 New contact form submission received from CreativeCareManagement.com - A Caregiver’s Guide for the Holidays [fullname] <[emailc]> info@creativecasemanagement.com, lynda@llvirtual.com From: [fullname] <[emailc]> Phone: [phones] Message Body: [question] -- This email was sent via the contact form on the Creative Case Management website, http://www.CreativeCaseManagement.com. Your message was sent successfully. Thanks. Failed to send your message. Please try later or contact the administrator by another method. Validation errors occurred. Please confirm the fields and submit it again. Failed to send your message. Please try later or contact the administrator by another method. Please accept the terms to proceed. Please fill the required field. The field is too long. The field is too short. Date format seems invalid. This date is too early. This date is too late. Failed to upload file. This file type is not allowed. This file is too large. Failed to upload file. Error occurred. Number format seems invalid. This number is too small. This number is too large. Your answer is not correct. Your entered code is incorrect. Email address seems invalid. URL seems invalid. Telephone number seems invalid.
You have heard me make some pretty big claims, and you may think this one is over the top, but 80 year olds who run every day have the body of a 40 year old who does not exercise. I have seven suggestions that will help anybody to stave off the ill effects of aging and maybe even turn the clock back. 1. Re-engineer your Genes: We are programmed to age by losing about 5 pounds of muscle per decade and gain about 10 pounds of fat. Exercise experts tells us that we can retrain our muscles to act younger. In fact with just 6 months of strength training a body can learn to preserve muscle mass, in effect, rolling back the biological clock. 2. Re-learn to Lift Properly: Lower back injuries are among the most common maladies of older adults, because we do not lift correctly. Men should squat to lift with their toes pointing forward. Women should modify this with a slightly wider stance and with the toes pointing out more. 3. Confuse your Muscles. Mix up the exercise regimen so that your muscles do not stop using certain groups and overuse others. You have heard that doing brain puzzles makes the brain more nimble. The same can work for the muscles of the body by what trainers call "muscle confusion." The result is stronger and more agile. 4. Confuse your Brain too: Well not confuse so much as make both halves of your brain work with each other. If your exercise includes crossing your limbs over to their opposite side as one does in dance exercise or lunges or yoga, it further strengthens how your brain's hemispheres can work and respond to change. 5. The Important Muscle: When you work out aggressively, your heart works aggressively. Trouble is that most of us do not exercise the heart enough. Current guidelines suggest 150 minutes of cardiovascular exercise a week, but some new research suggest that optimal heart conditioning comes from closer to 240 minutes a week. More is better! 6. Impact is Good: Just as muscle density can diminish with years, so also bone density wanes over the years. This accounts for why astronauts lose bone density in zero gravity - no impact. Dancing, walking and jogging are essential for maintaining bone heath. 7. 10,000 May Not Be Essential: We have long heard that we are to take 10,000 steps a day. I know someone who tracks it with his phone, and there are people who wear pedometers to keep up the pace. Canadian researchers actually have moderated this to 7,500 steps a day - a bit over four and a half miles. Doing more is fine, but don't beat yourself up. This is where I have to add that you speak with your health care provider about any new exercise regimen just to be sure it is safe for you. But when your doctor says yes, look forward to winding back your clock. Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to info@creativecaremanagement.com.
We’ve all seen the ads on television about the lawyers who will stand up for our older loved one if they are abused or neglected in a nursing home or other facility. A bruise, a bed sore or maybe loss in weight can be pretty conspicuous warning signs, but there is another pervasive abuse of older adults in America, an abuse that has no telltale bruises. We know from the statistics that one in nine older adults in America has been abused, but financial abuse specifically is substantially under-reported. Experts at the National Adult Protective Services Association report that only about one in 44 cases of financial abuse of seniors ever gets reported. Exacerbating this under-reporting is the simple fact that senior financial abuse doesn’t leave a mark on the abused victim. But it does raise a flag if you know what to look for. Look for telltale changes in your older loved one such as:
1. Sudden changes in a will or other document that now includes a new beneficiary.
2. The “live-in” caregiver who seems to be “living off” their client.
3. An unexpected increase in credit card debt or an unusually large line item.
4. Money spent that has a wild or outlandish explanation.
5. More frequent withdrawals on a bank account or new accounts with someone else’s name on it.
6. Vague explanations or complaints about a missing credit card.
7. Guarded talking or behavior around a new caregiver that may suggest they are being intimidated.
8. Missing items like jewelry, money, antiques, art or even furniture from their home.
9. That new girl or boy friend…maybe some significant number of years younger.
Older adults are prime targets because they have the money…their savings, retirement accounts, mortgage-free home or other assets. Older adults are also more vulnerable because they may live alone, they may have chronic medical conditions requiring assistance or they are simply weaker than their exploiter. Older women are particularly vulnerable for all of these reasons plus their upbringing was in a time when women were simply taught to defer, to be nice, to be polite. And nearly half of all abusers are family members or friends. Please remember also that the earlier you spot the flags, the easier it is to “fix the problem.” Charlotte Bishop is an Aging Life Care Advisor, Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.
Raise your hand if you ever had a disagreement with a brother or sister as you were growing up. It may sound like an odd question, but it highlights of the "iron rules" of family dynamics that I have seen in my years as a certified geriatric care manager. Most families tend to play out a lot of the family dynamics that had characterized them during the formative years of the family. They simply are older now that they were when mom and dad were raising them as children. We also still find that caregiving to mom or dad as they age generally falls to the daughter in the family and not the son. According to sources woman (daughters) caregivers outnumber men (sons) about two to one. SO what can one do to manage the family dynamics so that the caregiving actually is productive instead of combative. In part because caregiving can be demanding and stressful, it can bring out some of the family's old tensions or unresolved issues. Some siblings may be the optimists and others the pessimists, but quite often the tension that already exists is exacerbated because the duties are not seen to be shared equitably. Here are some guidelines that can help to diffuse a tense predicament and hopefully move things to a more productive plane:
- Make it a point to appreciate all points of view, and be open to compromise; as I often say, "Would you rather be right or happy?"Recognize that not all siblings can contribute equally; everyone comes from a different place with different abilities and different constraints.
- Don't forget "please" and don't forget "thank you;" show appreciation for everyone's contribution to caring for mom or dad.Make it a point to share all the information; if one of the siblings does not know their help or input is needed, it is not going to be forthcoming.
- Remember to frame your suggestions and actions around what mom or dad would have wanted, not what you specifically may want.
- You may not be required to "forget" a perceived wrong from a sibling, but you do have to "forgive" the slight so that you all can move forward.
- If you are the caregiver who is not getting sufficient help from the siblings, you still need to find professional (or otherwise) respite care.
- Be open to seeing when you need to call in help just to work together as siblings; seek the facilitation of a therapists, counselor, social worker other third party.
- Remember one of my other iron rules, and that is "Care for the Caregiver;" you cannot be an effective caregiver if you are not caring for yourself.
This may seem like a lot, but productive resolutions of issues will in the end be better for your older loved ones. The lessons you learn in working through your sibling tensions also can be tremendously illuminating as you look to prepare your own children for roles that they will one day face. Charlotte Bishop is a certified Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to info@creativecaremanagement.com.
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