Chicago's Geriatric Care Manager Center of Excellence – Since 1991 • caregiver coachChicago's Geriatric Care Manager Center of Excellence

I Miss the Scams That Used to Be Easier to Spot
It was probably ten years ago that my husband’s mother was caught up in a telephone scam on her...
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September 26, 2023
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How Old You Really Are
One of my staff worked with a senior community in upstate New York near Elmira a number of years...
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August 8, 2023
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Three Words Are the Cure
Some have called it an epidemic. And it’s particularly virulent within the senior population. The epidemic leads to even...
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July 16, 2023
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It’s About You
This is personal! Yes, it’s about you! I’d be willing to wager, however, that most of you haven’t thought...
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April 18, 2023
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Follow Your Gut…You’ve Got No Choice
It was back in the sixties and seventies that so many folks embraced the mantra: “You are what you...
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April 11, 2023
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Spring Tips for the Holiday Caregiver
We all know that that Spring in the Midwest isn’t on a straight line from Winter toward Summer, but...
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March 28, 2023
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How (NOT) to Worry, Stress or Be Anxious
It’s not so much whether you’ll have worries, be stressed or feel anxious…it’s how you’ll manage your worries, your...
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March 21, 2023
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Scammer v. 23.1
Call it Ocean’s 65+…instead of Ocean’s 8 or Ocean’s 11…but it doesn’t have a caste of Hollywood stars, and...
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March 7, 2023
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Ain’t No Sunshine…
…When She’s Gone.” Or how about, “You are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine?” or “Here Comes the Sun?” or...
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February 21, 2023
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To Sleep, Perchance to Dream
No, this isn’t a refresher course on Shakespeare and the famous Hamlet soliloquy. (Spoiler Alert – Hamlet was ranting...
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January 2, 2023
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In the Caregiver's Words

Recent Client Praise

Did you have a great Thanksgiving Holiday or do you find yourself totally exhausted from all the preparations and clean-up and dreading (at least) four more weeks of the same? If you can see something of your experience in that description then you may be a caregiver who has not followed my "prime directive" for caregivers: You will always take better care of others if you are taking care of the caregiver first! I have said it somewhat differently on numerous occasions, but those charged with taking care of an older loved one along with everyone else in their orbit also need to care for themselves. Don't burn the proverbial candle at both ends.

So you agree in concept. It seems easy to say, but how does a caregiver start taking better care of her or himself? Here are three simple guides that you may find helpful in getting through the rest of the holidays. I think you actually will find that you better enjoy the opportunities for family and friends when you are in better shape yourself.

1.    Delegate! Recognize that when ten people (or more) gather at your house to dine for the holidays that there will be a lot of food to prepare. Don't go it alone. Request the two vegetable dishes from two of the guests, the rolls from another and the dessert from someone else. You may reserve the special dish that only you do for yourself, but share the opportunity to prepare the feast. And keep sharing after the meal. Those who cannot cook will clean! If you find yourself alone in the kitchen with a sink full of dishes after dinner, you did not delegate.

2.    Designate! Set up a schedule with "rest stops" for your days leading up to and including the day of the event. Set aside time for yourself just as you would set aside a break from a long drive in order to get out of the car and stretch your legs. Get out of the house for a nice walk in the crisp air or sneak away to your room with a magazine or book.

3.    Disengage! Don't compare yourself to anyone else. It is easy to set the bar way too high by thinking that "if mom or dad could do all of the work," then so should you. And that goes for recipes also. Be prepared to enjoy the meal in which everyone has a hand in preparing. In fact, it may even taste a bit better if you did not prepare all of the meal. (Refer to rule #1 above.)

      Enjoy the rest of our holiday season, and remember to take care of the caregiver.

      Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Case Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to ccbishop@creativecasemanagement.com.
The Covid-19 pandemic and quarantine are receding in our collective rearview mirrors, but there are some lasting and devastating effects that remain…and they aren’t health-related. We have talked about how isolating the pandemic was, especially for older adults who may have been single during this quarantine. Beyond the unfortunate older adults whose communities may have been ravaged by the virus, the number of older adults who have been and may continue to be exploited financially has seen a sharp upturn. In a recent survey reported by The American Journal of Geriatric Psychiatry, the incidence of financial abuse among older adults has doubled during the pandemic. More than 21 percent of older adults reported some form of financial abuse or scamming during the quarantine which is double the one in ten rate of reported financial abuse in the period before the COVID-19 outbreak. What is all the more troubling is the fact that these are just the individuals who reported being scammed. Given that many financial abuse cases go unreported or unrecognized, we may now be in a continued pandemic of a financial sort among older Americans. Many older adults are relatively easy prey to those who will exploit their social isolation and the prospect that no one is looking out for their well-being while we were all maintaining distance to avoid spreading the virus. It could be a long lost school classmate of mom or dad, or maybe another individual whose work brought them in contact with a lonely senior. If you have an older loved one with whom you are now reestablishing contact, it is important that you help with a financial security check up. If you are not a legal power of attorney, you will have to be delicate about questions, but you can still look for signs of abuse:
- Have their been any changes to estate planning documents?
- Any purchases that seem unusual by their dollar amount or nature?
- Has your loved one been making more trips to the ATM for withdrawals?
- Have any bills gone unpaid?
- Any new credit cards arriving in their mail?
- Has your loved one talked about time spent with a “new friend?”
- Are their any pieces or art or family heirlooms missing?
With all of these, it may not be a stranger who is perpetrating the fraud on your older loved one; it may be a niece, nephew, child or grandchild or neighbor. Be prepared for your loved one to be perhaps indignant if you suggest anything, and be prepared to reach out to a community department of Senior Services. You also can find an accredited Elder Law Attorney by way of their National Association. Elder abuse is an epidemic for which there is no vaccine. Local law enforcement departments also have community outreach offices to help. Charlotte Bishop is a Caregiver Coach, an Aging Life Care Advisor, a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.
All of us here know how to prepare for a blizzard, people in the South know how to prepare for a hurricane, and folks on the Great Plains know how to prepare for a tornado. Maybe what is most challenging about the virus that is part of every news cycle these days is that it is a “novel” coronavirus. If you are a caregiver to an older loved one as well as looking out for your own health, let me address four major questions about the “new” virus:
1. What are signs and symptoms? The incubation period can be as long as 14 days, but is generally expected to be about five days. This virus does not initially differentiate itself from any other “bugs” going around. Initial symptoms likely include a cough or sneezing, but with or without an elevated temperature. Rarely is there diarrhea. Drinking lots of fluids is very important at this early and all stages of the disease. Milder cases can be treated at home, but if the condition persists or if the lungs become affected, seek professional help.
2. How is it transmitted? COVID 19 is not transmitted through the air we breathe, but it is transmitted through mucous droplets. If someone with the disease sneezes or coughs, they should cover their nose or mouth with a tissue or the sleeve at their elbow to avoid spreading the droplets. Be careful of surfaces on which a carrier has had contact (or their sneeze or cough droplets have had contact) as the virus may survive as long as several days. Those diagnosed with the condition should wear a face mask.
3. Who is most susceptible? This is where COVID 19 is similar to other flu viruses in that as many as four in five deaths will be among patients 60 years and older. It is not just the age of the patient, however. It is other conditions that weaken their bodies’ ability to fight the virus. Those particularly at risk will be those with high blood pressure, diabetes, heart disease or lung disease. Those who are immune-compromised may also be at greater risk, but it is wise to consult a family physician before sounding alarms.
4. How to protect your loved one / yourself? Stand at least three feet away from anyone with whom you are conversing which will lessen the chance of your receiving a stray droplet. Wash hands often according to the WHO guidelines (link is below), avoid touching your face and wipe surfaces with sanitizer materials with at least 60% alcohol content. The World Health Organization (WHO) does not recommend face masks for the general population, but patients are encouraged to wear a mask. And then there is the obvious precaution that one ought to avoid contact with COVID 19 patients or travel to geographic areas where cases have been confirmed.
To get answers to your other questions, please don’t hesitate to email me at: info@creativecaremanagement.com or go to the World Health Organization website. Charlotte Bishop is an Aging Life Care Advisor, Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.
Yesterday, we talked about dealing with stress and melancholy during the holidays. Here are even more tips that you can use to cut down on stress and post-holiday blues while caring for a loved one. Remember, it is okay and understandable to feel down during and after the holidays. But the more you are prepared, the better your holidays may be.
1. It’s okay to say no. When it comes to holidays, if you feel the need to cut down on the amount of gatherings you’ll be able to attend this year – there’s no need to worry. Pace yourself – you’ll have a much better time, especially you tend to feel overwhelmed when running around place to place.
2. Keep gatherings small. You may find that scheduling festivities with smaller groups is much easier to manage as well as much more comfortable for you and your loved one.
3. Communicate. If you plan to host a gathering or go to one, be sure to talk to your loved one about it often so he or she is able to anticipate being social. In addition, talk to your guests beforehand about your loved one’s condition if they haven’t visited in a while.
4. Give yourself and your loved one a break. Realize that it is okay to take time out for yourself as a caregiver. You may find that setting aside a bit of time to relax is just what you need to reduce stress levels. Recognize that your loved one may need some quiet time too.
Last but not least, monitor how you’re feeling as you go through the holidays. If you’re feeling melancholic during festivities because you’re remembering how things were in the past, understand that this is okay and you should let yourself feel them. However, it may be a matter of focusing as much as you can on positivity, your loved ones, your happiness, and the present moment. You can find more these tips at Caregiver.com.

Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Case Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to ccbishop@creativecasemanagement.com.
We are fortunate to have a new contribution from a good friend and colleague, Julie Northcutt of Caregiverlist.com. Julie offers a caution in this contribution about the scams that seek to prey on older adults, so please give her warning a read...

“Holidays are a magical time, but unfortunately they are also a time when law enforcement sees a spike in online and telemarketing fraud, especially directed against the elderly. According to the Federal Trade Commission, nearly 25 million Americans are victims of consumer fraud each year. Senior citizens continue to be a rapidly increasing segment of the population. Why are seniors especially vulnerable? Seniors are seen as easy marks with “nest eggs” that make them attractive to con artists. According to the F.B.I., “people who grew up in the 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s were generally raised to be polite and trusting. Con artists exploit these traits, knowing that it is difficult or impossible for these individuals to say "no" or just hang up the telephone.” In addition, because the elderly are sometimes socially isolated, the elder will stay on the line just to converse with another human being.

“Silver Surfers” are the fastest growing group of Americans using computers, recent studies have shown, using email as an essential way to keep in touch with loved ones. This makes them especially vulnerable to illegitimate “charity” organizations looking for donations, lottery scams and bogus product offers. Elderly victims are less likely to report the fraud because they don’t know who to report to or they are embarrassed to admit they have been scammed. One of the more popular schemes this season is the “grandparent scam.” In this scenario, someone calls a senior and poses as their grandchild or a friend of the grandchild. The caller claims that the grandchild has been in an accident or is in trouble and needs the grandparent to wire them money. The grandparent is also urged not to tell anyone. Once the money is sent, it is unlikely it can ever be recovered.

What is a senior to do if they suspect fraud? Seniors are urged not to reply to any emails offering “free” medical equipment, miracle cures, or lottery prizes that require up-front payment for processing. Never give out sensitive information over email or phone, including social security numbers and bank information. Verify charity information before donating. In the case of the “grandparent scam,” seniors are urged to call their grandchildren to see if they are really in trouble. Everyone is vulnerable to deceptions during the holiday season. None more so, it seems, then our senior population. If you or a loved one has been the victim of a scam or fraud, report it to your local Department on Aging. You may help prevent others from becoming victims as well.”

Julie Northcutt is founder and president of Caregiverlist.com. We encourage you to visit her website.

Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Case Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families throughout metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to Charlotte Bishop.