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That “Other Caregiver Talk” with an Older Loved One
In my Tuesday posting, I spoke to some of the issues of caregivers about helping their older, single loved...
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September 26, 2013
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For Caregivers with Single Senior Parents
There are nearly 40 million people in America 65 years of age or older, and that number is expected...
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September 24, 2013
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Caregiver (Sibling) Rivalry
Raise your hand if you ever had a disagreement with a brother or sister as you were growing up. ...
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September 5, 2013
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A Hearing Test for Caregivers
We often refer to Geriatric Care Managers as the eyes and ears for the family when they cannot be...
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May 9, 2013
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In the Caregiver's Words

Recent Client Praise

Please consider what I am sharing with you here to be the raw material side of recommending some recipes for your upcoming Thanksgiving feast. By raw materials, I mean that these recommendations are not recipes, strictly speaking, but I am recommending your feast this week have ample quantities of vitamins D and E. In fact, you might carry these doses over into your regular diet after this week. If you are like most folks who have been following advice on healthy eating, you already appreciate that vitamin D is very important for bone health and vitamin E is central to heart health. But what you may not have seen is that both of these also are important to brain health. Separate studies have shown that vitamin E can help to keep Alzheimer's at bay and vitamin D can lower the risk of cognitive decline. Starting with the case for vitamin E, researchers at New York State University have studied the effect of regular quantities of walnuts (rich in vitamin E) on what they termed "Alzheimer's-susceptible mice." Granted, these are animal studies, but the nutrition needs of mammals can be generalized to some extent. And their results published just this month were quite striking. The group of mice in their experiment who consumed regular doses of walnuts showed statistically significant improvement in learning, memory, motor skills and even anxiety levels over the mice who received no walnuts. (How do they measure anxiety in mice?) No surprise that walnuts contain Omega-3 fatty acids as well as other antioxidants which have been proven in other studies to ward off cognitive decline. And then there is vitamin D. This was a study among older Italian adults rather than mice. The researchers tracked vitamin D levels of nearly 2,000 adults whose average age was 73.9 years for over four years. They found that those individuals with vitamin D deficiency or insufficiency (measured by their serum 25OHD) were more likely to have declining cognitive skills as measured by a standard test called the "Mini-Mental State Examination." This was compared to their baseline test at the outset of the study which showed all participants to begin at comparable and robust levels of mental ability. It is important to note that this second study simply noted the differences among individuals based on their blood serum levels and did not control what they ate. More testing will be needed to see if vitamin supplements can make a positive difference versus in mental capacity. And, of course, the first study was on mice, so it would be helpful to move this up to humans. And by the way, the amount humans would consume to give the equivalent dose for what the mice ate would be only about 1-1.5 ounces of walnuts daily. So, if you are a caregiver to an older loved one this holiday, these two studies may not include any recipes, per se, but they do suggest what you may wish to add to your Thanksgiving spread as well as the dinners that will follow. And you don't have to choose between these two vitamins; cover your bets by adding a bit of D and a bit of E. Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to info@creativecaremanagement.com.
What do ObamaCare and geriatric care managers have in common? You probably have heard a whole lot about what is called ObamaCare - more accurately the Affordable Care Act - but you probably have not heard so much about geriatric care managers...let alone geriatric care managers and the Affordable Care Act. It works like this. The new law that has given more access to more Americans has also worked to have everyone in health care working toward the same goal. Raise your hand if you have ever had an older loved one admitted to a hospital. When that event happened, what you wanted most was to get your loved one safely recovered from what brought them to the hospital and to get them discharged. At the point they were discharged, what you wanted least was to face the prospect of seeing them readmitted to a hospital. Unfortunately for the Medicare-age population, that readmission was happening a lot. So, ObamaCare built in a program where everyone is working toward keeping older people healthy once they are discharged from the hospital. But let me take you back a number of years. There was a time when all health care providers - including hospitals - were paid fee-for-service. Every office visit, every hospital visit, every procedure was a charge, and the providers were paid more for more volume. Then some of the rules changed so that health care was "managed" by insurers who made more money if they paid providers less. The first system rewarded volume, and the second one rewarded cutting care. Under the new model, providers and hospitals are rewarded for working together to improve quality and efficiency. And what do the people running these new organizations say is most instrumental in making all this work? In a survey conducted this last year among executives of ACOs, they were asked what was most effective and most important in keeping people healthy and out of hospitals: telemedicine, pharmaceuticals, electronic medical record-keeping, pharmaceuticals, home health care or care managers? It is not computers, it is not the providers, it is not new medicines; it is care managers who are viewed as both more effective and more important. What makes it all work better are the care managers who can assess a person's health and their home, and then develop a plan to help a person get back on their feet. That same care manager is the one who will advocate on behalf of an older patient to get help at home or to get in to see a doctor to help avoid an unnecessary trip to the hospital. This is not to toot our own horns; we will leave that to the CEOs at the new health plans to do that for us. Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to info@creativecaremanagement.com.
Not a day goes by that the sun does not linger a bit longer, that the landscape gets a bit greener, that the weather gets bit warmer and that the scammers get a bit craftier. We all are accustomed to preparing for a change in the seasons, but we also need to be able to help our older loved ones defend themselves against an evolving art of scamming. I want to share five of them that have taken scamming to new depths. It’s always the same bottom line: they are looking to steal people’s money or people’s identities with which to make monetary gains. But they continue to improve their game, so help your older loved ones prepare.
1. It starts with ZOOM – For the past year or more we have had to substitute real gatherings with digital gatherings. We are all accustomed to receiving the “link” and clicking into a meeting with a friend, a club, a congregation and more. Scammers, however, send authentic-looking links that take your loved one to a platform where the scammer may download malicious software that hacks passwords or gains access financial information. RESPONSE: Impress upon your older loved ones to not click on links in unsolicited emails.
2. Generous Actor giving away money – There have been noteworthy screen actors or athletes who have stepped up to help communities that have been devastated by the pandemic quarantine. Your mom or dad get a text or email invitation from a famous someone, and all they have to do is send their account information and small deposit to cover the “cost of the transaction.” RESPONSE: If it is too good to be true, assure your loved one that it IS too good to be true.
3. New Medicare benefits – With expanded health benefits lately and pandemic-related benefits, there can be a lot of information being broadcast. The offers sound great. RESPONSE: Medicare will never solicit your older loved one; hang up, log off, just close that screen.
4. On-line romance is not love- There is an ever-increasing array of options that allow people to meet on-line. And with the incredibly long quarantine who is not in need of some social interaction. It may even be a book club or a prayer group. RESPONSE: The red flags will be provocative videos or language or any number of suggestions that ultimately lead to a request for money or confidential information; this is another hang up, log off.
5. Account Issues – A text or email with your loved one’s credit card logo and an alert that payment is past due or a text with similar wording. Maybe it is an alert, but… RESPONSE: Encourage your older loved one to ALWAYS call the toll-free number on the back of the credit card or visit the actual web site; never click on a link or provide account details to a caller.
So, you and your loved ones have just these five scams to guard against? Not exactly. These are in the top tier, but scammers are a creative lot, so follow all these general rules of response so as not to be taken in by the next wave. Charlotte Bishop is a Caregiver Coach, an Aging Life Care Advisor, a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.
Today’s posting is from one of our long-time staff members, Gregory Peebles. In addition to his Master’s degree, Gregory is a CSA (Certified Senior Advisor). He has been an integral part of our team for nine years. You remember it don’t you? When mom was at home, cleaning the house, you and your smiling siblings were at school, dad had a balanced work/home life that allowed him enough energy and leisure to be little league coach, and grandma lived in the converted garage, basically independent, but so loved that everyone agreed she should just move in? Surely you remember that. EVERYONE DOES, RIGHT?! Wrong. If you don’t remember life that way, don’t feel badly, because I don’t either, and we’d be hard pressed to find anyone else who could relate to that fantasy even ten years ago, let alone today. If, however, you felt some sort of connection with that icon, it’s because that’s the way the family was until only recently idealized in advertising—upper middle class, happy, and homogenous (which is to say, mostly white)—and we have a tendency to compare those images to our own experience while feeling a sense of let-down when our lives don’t match. We can all breathe a sigh of relief and let go of those comparison benchmarks, because the American family never was and never will be only the sanitized version; it’s just the version we see most in the media. It’s changing, slowly of course, to reflect a more diverse, if still primarily heteronormative representation; however, family is so much more than the genetic bonds we share with people who look and act like us. Family is forged in the fire of love and sacrifice, and those of us giving care to members of non-traditional or unrecognized families certainly have hammered out meaningful relationships that previously would have been shackles of burden instead of weapons against loneliness. As the strict definition of family changes to include diverse relationships once cause for social shame (divorce, now legal same-sex relationships, blended families, children born in love, but out of wedlock), it is important to remember that the complicated family is not new. What is new is the larger concession, even reticent, to allow compassionate discussion. Family dynamics are hard enough to navigate when traveling the well-worn roads of traditional narrative; complex feelings of ownership regarding the care receiver can invade and upend even the most conventional dynamics. What happens when mom isn’t independent anymore, but the kids hate mom’s new wife? What do we do when Dad, non-responsive, has children from two marriages, and both groups are sure they know best? How do we protect each other when we don’t have enough history of what works to move forward with assurance and conviction? How do we get out of this? The same way we got in: by being open to something new, by being as full of love as we are capable, and by communicating with the people who are important to us early and often. It’s important to talk to your loved ones about their wishes in the event of incapacitation before it happens, so it is especially important for families bound by non-traditional roles to make plans. Below are some suggestions for helping your complicated family communicate more simply. If you expect to be the recipient of care: Make it public
- As many family members as can/are willing to be present
- Neutral, sober space
- Everyone gets a voice, even if everyone doesn’t get to make decisions
- Allow for the possible necessity of multiple meetings
Make it Clear
- Documents for estate planning
  - DNR - “Do Not Resuscitate” (DNR)
  - POLST – “Physicians Orders for Life-Sustaining Treatment”
  - Five Wishes
  - There are many helpful tools for this online and at our website, creativecaremanagement.com)
Make it legal
- Print, sign, and have an attorney review the documents so that they “stand up” in court if need be
If you expect to be giving care:
- Listen listen listen – This is not about you.
- Be honest with yourself/your loved about what you feel comfortable/uncomfortable honoring
- Respect the sovereignty of the Individual - If you cannot in good conscience provide the care and services your loved one request, do not impede the process.
Charlotte Bishop is an Aging Life Care Professional and a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to info@creativecaremanagement.com.
If you are a distance caregiver who will be home with an older loved one during these holidays, it is a great chance to have great conversation and to do a caregiver check up with your older loved one. You may beneficially find it helpful to raise some questions in your catch-up conversation to get a clearer sense of how well your elder is caring for themselves. Try these: 1. How are you sleeping? It is common knowledge that as we age, we simply need less sleep, but there is a real health difference between needing less sleep and actually suffering from insomnia. Consistent loss of sleep can be a real health risk in itself. Medical researchers find that as the hours of lost sleep pile up, blood pressure also rises. With rising pressure, there is rising inflammation or even weakening of blood vessel walls. People with genuine insomnia have twice the chance of suffering a stroke. Recommend end of day habits that will be less stimulating...like less television and more reading. It may be helpful to even suggest a white noise machine or some sound devices that mimic wave action or light rainfall to soothe your loved one to sleep. 2. Do you enjoy a good cup of coffee? At the opposite end of the sleep continuum, don't discourage your older loved one's coffee during the day. At the same time you can encourage decaf or a switch to non-caffeinated teas after the lunch hour to avoid stimulation that can fuel sleeplessness. But coffee actually imparts measureable health benefits. It has been demonstrated to reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes, heart disease and even some forms of cancer. 3. Do you have a place for safe walking? Walking just half an hour daily - or even six days out of seven - has had a demonstrably beneficial effect on reducing belly fat. And the effect is more than cosmetic. Walking or even jogging can reduce the middle and at the same time lower the risk of the three above: diabetes, heart disease and cancer. With any exercise, always encourage your loved one to consult their physician and to get comfortable and supportive footwear. 4. How are you feeling? This sounds like a vague question, but it is a chance to talk about anything that has changed lately. Research shows that unusual chest or arm pain are common precursors for heart issues in men. In women, it is not so clear. In fact, fewer than a third of women report discomfort before a cardiac event. But nearly all women have symptoms like indigestion, pain, anxiety or other cues before a heart attack. Listen for what may be brushed off as "nothing." If you are a caregiver to an older loved one, enjoy family and the holiday, and take the conversational opportunity to make it a healthy holiday and new year. Charlotte Bishop is a Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. Please email your questions to info@creativecaremanagement.com.
We all think that we could never get scammed, right? We all think that only other people can be fooled into giving away personal financial information of access, right? Well, this week I came as close as I want to being taken by on-line scammers. You perhaps cannot see very clearly the picture insert on this post, but two giveaways are highlighted, and one is not. This email came to me this week, and it took some close examination to see that there was a grammar error – the part that says “within 1 days” and a suspicious address – Amazon calls Seattle home, not “Knoxville, Tennessee.” The part you cannot see is what tipped me off, though; I don’t have an Amazon Prime account. If I had the account, I might have clicked through to update my credit card information, and you can guess how that story would have ended. I have said it before in other posts, but the bad guys are quite inventive, so we have to be on the alert for the next new thing, and these suggestions are some that you should share with your older loved ones as well as yourselves. Let me share some of the advice that Google offers:
- Don’t Click on the button until you hover your cursor over the button to see the address to which it will direct you if you do click;
- Check Reviews to see if you are dealing with what should appear to be a legitimate business-everybody gets reviewed;
- Contact Details should be present and verifiable – like the example that I just shared with you;
- “Whois lookup” is a site you can go to as a way to check that the website referenced is an actual, registered domain;
- Too Much is too much – your health care provider and purveyor of spirits may ask for your birth date, but no one else should be requesting it;
- Check Grammar, because a lot of the bad operators may not be operating in this country; English will not therefore be their first language;
- Go Offline and check your credit card statements each month for any charges that may come from web domains that you don’t recognize;
- Trust Your Intuition, because chances are that if the story does not sound right or the offerings don’t seem quite right, then you may be on the verge of being taken.
Of course there is more, but a fair bit of it gets into the more intricate elements of web site construction and such. I think the last is probably the bedrock of safe online commerce…listen to your feelings. It sort of makes me miss the days when I just had to worry about holding my purse close to me so that it wouldn’t get snatched. Be careful. Charlotte Bishop is an Aging Life Care Advisor, Geriatric Care Manager and founder of Creative Care Management, certified professionals who are geriatric advocates, resources, counselors and friends to older adults and their families in metropolitan Chicago. She also is the co-author of How Do I Know You? A Caregiver’s Lifesaver for Dealing with Dementia.